Ugly Juice

All right folks! Today we have the easiest, EASIEST recipe ever. It's so easy, in fact, that you don't even need measurements. Just a food list (Yay!) You get to make this puppy to taste. AND! It doesn't taste like a puppy!  In fact, there's only one drawback to today's recipe.

It's ugly.

It's mugly.

But it is so very healthy. You probably get ALL of the recommended daily allowance of fruits and veggies in one glass. For, yes, my cookologists, we are talking about a green smoothie. Well, greenish purple on account of the blueberries. Et voici, le recipe! (I love me when I speak French.)


Spinach, washed
Kale, washed
Apple, washed and cored
Orange, peeled
Banana (better if frozen, but fine if not)
Frozen berries
Any other fruit you have lying around that isn't bruised or ugly. Ugliness is the juice's job.
Agave syrup
Blender of Powerful Proportions



-Place ingredients in Blender of Powerful Proportion in the order listed. Or not. The blender police will not come after you.


-Blend some more.

-Do the Hokey Pokey. That is, after all, what it is all about.

-Your Ugly Juice will now resemble brownish-purplish sludge. Do not be afraid, my children. It is not primordial. It is in fact highly mordial. Pour into a large cup and slurp it down. Drink and be healthy. Trust me.

You know you want pictures of this. I live to serve:

Pictures of Epic Smoothieness:

Ingredients, with a cleverly placed dish-towel-to-disguise-the-breadbox. And fabulous lighting. And a little container of pea-greens that were not listed above. Shhhhh! Also, I forgot the Agave. But it found its way into the smoothie, so all is well.
That's alotta fruits and veggies! I overdid the spinach and kale (which turned out not to be kale, as I cannot tell the difference between kale and collard greens). But I wanted extra leafy greens. Normally I do a bit more fruit. You may adjust the ingredients to suit your taste. And to how much green stuff you want between your teeth.
Mmmmm. Purty. Sadly, it's not chocolate. It's the drink your chocolate could taste like, if it were made up of old spicy leafy greens. With a splash of agave.
(PS- The more frozen stuff you put in there, the smoothier it will be. Also, yogurt is a mighty fine addition.)
Print Friendly
This entry was posted in Beverages and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.